I made this quick video yesterday in the car while driving (sorry Mum!) because when inspiration hits, it’s got to be done! When I shared it in my Telegram Group, someone in there said: What is the big to do about the disparity of ego? I have a friend that is totally “ego is bad- gotta get rid of it”. I tend to think ego can be part of a balance for us, like the yin and Yang. Please explain!
Before I could get to the answer, someone else in there answered. This is why I love Telegram - it really is a space where we can have discussions and share our opinions. I feel I can be totally myself in there without being censored. Anyway, this is what they said: I see the ego as your male energy, the logical side and your protector... The female side is your intuition, creativity and your nurturing energy. So yes, ying-yang would mean the same thing to me. Both have to work together in balance for us to feel and be our best versions of self. In my healing process, I had to completely separate myself from my ego for a short while to allow my divine feminine to come through loud and clear. Once this was achieved I began to balance both, sorta like a relationship that needed a short separation to then come back and share what they have learned and find a common ground to work together as a team.
I love this! But technically it’s not correct. I don’t mean to be pedantic, but if we can really qualify what all of this is, then perhaps we can start to work with it at a deeper level.
To be clear about the ego - The ego is a structure within our psyche that enables us to function in this reality. That’s it - it is a structure. What I believe goes into that structure is our conditioning, our experiences and the collective understanding of what is and what is not appropriate behaviour. It’s not male or female, but our experiences, and our conditioning can feel like their male because they’re authoritarian, coming from our first experiences with parents, teachers, and authority figures, etc.
So in essence, it’s not the ego we need to kill at all. It’s our conditioning.
People often confuse the ego, and being egotistical. Egotistical behaviour is an archetype, where an archetype is a pattern of behaviour with recognisable traits. A few examples of archetypes include the hero, the narcissist, the entrepreneur, the mother, and the wounded healer. The narcissist is the most egotistical of all, I’ve written about that, here:
Egotists believe themselves to be superior to others in skill and intelligence. As a result, some prefer to bully and insult others, while others are simply too self-centered to care about those around them. This is what needs to go.
And as I say in the video, we are becoming more sensitive to inauthenticity and egotistical behaviour, we can spot it much quicker now. And we can say no to it - as a matter of self-care. It is not selfish (or egotistical) to be more discerning around who, and what, we spend our time with. And self-care is most certainly not selfish!
We are starting to create new, vibrant opportunities to live authentically. I envision a future where people will have a choice to stay in a narcissistic, authoritarian society, or to walk away and join a heart-centred one. Yay!!
If you enjoyed this you can buy the author a coffee.
Selfishness, Narcissism and Inauthenticity has to go.