This article is like a sigh of relief, I've been feeling pretty similar. And yes, I have been questioning am I insane, or is the world around me insane? It's hard to find people who truly feel how intense things are. I understand how easy it is to be manipulated to the point of total dissociation with who I am. The tower card is one I always come back to..but again, some part of the matrix drags me into a false sense if security. I'm really grateful for your honesty, I feel refreshed. Though I know for my survival right now, I need to adhere to my families rules. Until I(if ever) get to find my home in this world, I don't think I'm ever going to have the autonomy to think for myself. It's so strange that I've spent the last 2 years really working on studying psychology and human nature. Working on myself, day after day. It's scary to know how controlled I really am, not just by family but society's expectations. I know I am being manipulated and have to say all the right things or quite literally I will be made homeless on the cold Irish streets, that's not even an exaggeration. If I don't conform, I won't survive. I feel like a puppet. In a world I don't recognise or feel any authenticity in. I really thank you deeply for this piece of writing in my inbox. I don't feel so alone. Much love and prayers 🙏 ❤
Ps. Am loving your One day at a time diary, it's been so soothing xx
Thank you Abby xxx exactly how I feel it has been so hard this past 2 years especially when u have had a lot of friends and work colleges trying to get you to get vaccinated and them saying they were scared for me for not and that why would I not I saw right from the start this was not good and the longer it went on and the more you were discriminated it got harder
Now all these people that have been scared for the past 2 years are now going to be scared to mix with unvaccinated people as this is what has been installed in them so now it is going to cause even more stress and anxiety for even more people
Plus this is not the end they can do this again when they please cause now it has been done once it can be done again so we will all be on edge wondering if and when this will happen again.
I will still continue to treat people the way I would like to be treated always show compassion and do not judge you never know what someone has been through
Your words of sitting in the landscape of your heart sounds perfect xxxx 💖
And growing your own food and living off the land xxx
What a refreshing read. Thank you Abby. Resonates so deeply. The magnitude of the grief and almost aerial suspension defies language. Perhaps I need to stop looking for the 'real agenda' and beyond distractions as still being sucked into the matrix albeit from a different direction. So much confusion surrounds where are how to even being with the new foundations. Perhaps an unplugging and rest is indeed in order. Hope to see you in 'being'.
Thank you for putting words on what I and so many others have been feeling. Grateful to frequently question my sanity 🙏
It can be a distraction but we are wired to protect ourselves so we have the need to find out what’s coming next. It’s natural. But we need balance. When we disconnect it becomes easier to trust the flow of life.
Amen! Words put to the current energy of my soul! I have a magnet on the fridge that reads a quote by Edgar Allan Poe: “I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.” It struck me years ago when I purchased it - but it resonates even moreso now! ✌🏼❤️
I’ve just subscribed and this is my first article of yours I’ve read. It really struck a chord with me as it’s exactly how I felt-the disappointment, the trauma, the heartbreak. I’ve acclimatised to it now, and hoping much better, but one area that bothers me all the time is how do I broach this subject with my children or do I leave them in blissful ignorance? They are 21, 18 and 16 now and all thankfully unvaccinated!
Like the other comments, it is really helpful Abby, to see in front of you, in words, the feelings that many of us are experiencing. In particular the words that you are traumatised, heart is broken, and not everyone feels the same. The significance of that, not everyone feels the same,is what makes this experience so difficult. My dad was in the Navy during the war, and my mum suffered a severe head trauma during the Blitz in London, which shortened her life and also the quality of that life was restricted. Incredibly, they were both very positive people, on the whole. When they spoke of the war, it was usually with funny stories, such as my mum finding her home bombed but with a mine hanging through the ceiling. She had just bought a new hat which was positioned in a box beneath and she was furious that the ARP man would not let her enter! It was probably several weeks of her money saved to buy it. So when I was a teenager I used to say that if I had been alive during the Blitz, I would have committed suicide. I could not have borne the uncertainty of the struggle. Both of my parents reassured me that I would not have done that. They said what kept them going was the camaraderie and the knowledge that everyone was in the same boat. They all had lost someone, either a civilian or a member of the forces. They had very little wealth, someone might borrow a cup of sugar today, but next week it would be you doing the borrowing. Being in London during the Blitz, close to the Docks, took the brunt of severe bombardment, but they survived because of their friends and neighbours. I weep when I think of how much they and others endured, to give us our freedoms, which are being given away so readily. And here we are, with what we thought of as friends and neighbours, suddenly on a different side to us, and most of the time, they don't even know it. So while our hearts are breaking, they have theirs still intact. All of the trauma is ours, and will be again in the future. Yet I do believe we made a choice to be here at this time, just as they did. And by groups such as these, we can find the camaraderie that my parents experienced, and remember we are scattered around the globe. We just have to seek in the right places.
What a superb comment. Thank you for such deep and personal sharing. Lots to think about here. Yes I’d imagine the community spirit held everything together during the war. This war is a different animal altogether. We know it’s Psychological warfare, and that means that we do have the capacity to walk away, to switch it off. I hand it to God, take lots of walks and I’ve taken up crochet. I’m sure you’ll find your own way through it too. And I’m glad my words brought you some comfort ❤️🙏🏻
Thank you for your words. I have been feeling and am feeling very similarly. Good to know one is not alone knowing nothing and questioning ones sanity.
You’re most certainly not alone. They want you to think that you are. That’s so disempowering. You’ve found your family. Have a read of this piece from a new friend I found on here: https://margaretannaalice.substack.com/p/letter-to-a-tyrant
I think actually there IS a part of everybody we see in our daily lives (again now) who are grieving, some are more pro at hiding it, but there is a forcedness and stiffness to the ways of most. Is it possible I could be sensing that their blood is filling with something unwelcome, self assembling nanosensors and what the hell else? Interior assaults for many, a hollowing out. Fool me once. Best
This article is like a sigh of relief, I've been feeling pretty similar. And yes, I have been questioning am I insane, or is the world around me insane? It's hard to find people who truly feel how intense things are. I understand how easy it is to be manipulated to the point of total dissociation with who I am. The tower card is one I always come back to..but again, some part of the matrix drags me into a false sense if security. I'm really grateful for your honesty, I feel refreshed. Though I know for my survival right now, I need to adhere to my families rules. Until I(if ever) get to find my home in this world, I don't think I'm ever going to have the autonomy to think for myself. It's so strange that I've spent the last 2 years really working on studying psychology and human nature. Working on myself, day after day. It's scary to know how controlled I really am, not just by family but society's expectations. I know I am being manipulated and have to say all the right things or quite literally I will be made homeless on the cold Irish streets, that's not even an exaggeration. If I don't conform, I won't survive. I feel like a puppet. In a world I don't recognise or feel any authenticity in. I really thank you deeply for this piece of writing in my inbox. I don't feel so alone. Much love and prayers 🙏 ❤
Ps. Am loving your One day at a time diary, it's been so soothing xx
Thank you Abby xxx exactly how I feel it has been so hard this past 2 years especially when u have had a lot of friends and work colleges trying to get you to get vaccinated and them saying they were scared for me for not and that why would I not I saw right from the start this was not good and the longer it went on and the more you were discriminated it got harder
Now all these people that have been scared for the past 2 years are now going to be scared to mix with unvaccinated people as this is what has been installed in them so now it is going to cause even more stress and anxiety for even more people
Plus this is not the end they can do this again when they please cause now it has been done once it can be done again so we will all be on edge wondering if and when this will happen again.
I will still continue to treat people the way I would like to be treated always show compassion and do not judge you never know what someone has been through
Your words of sitting in the landscape of your heart sounds perfect xxxx 💖
And growing your own food and living off the land xxx
Thank you for writing all these peaces xx
You’re doing great. Sending love. We are not alone.
What a refreshing read. Thank you Abby. Resonates so deeply. The magnitude of the grief and almost aerial suspension defies language. Perhaps I need to stop looking for the 'real agenda' and beyond distractions as still being sucked into the matrix albeit from a different direction. So much confusion surrounds where are how to even being with the new foundations. Perhaps an unplugging and rest is indeed in order. Hope to see you in 'being'.
Thank you for putting words on what I and so many others have been feeling. Grateful to frequently question my sanity 🙏
It can be a distraction but we are wired to protect ourselves so we have the need to find out what’s coming next. It’s natural. But we need balance. When we disconnect it becomes easier to trust the flow of life.
Amen! Words put to the current energy of my soul! I have a magnet on the fridge that reads a quote by Edgar Allan Poe: “I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.” It struck me years ago when I purchased it - but it resonates even moreso now! ✌🏼❤️
This all resonated so much! Amazing piece 🙏
I’ve just subscribed and this is my first article of yours I’ve read. It really struck a chord with me as it’s exactly how I felt-the disappointment, the trauma, the heartbreak. I’ve acclimatised to it now, and hoping much better, but one area that bothers me all the time is how do I broach this subject with my children or do I leave them in blissful ignorance? They are 21, 18 and 16 now and all thankfully unvaccinated!
There’s no need to tell them anything. We do this for our children to protect them. Looks like you did a wonderful job.
Like the other comments, it is really helpful Abby, to see in front of you, in words, the feelings that many of us are experiencing. In particular the words that you are traumatised, heart is broken, and not everyone feels the same. The significance of that, not everyone feels the same,is what makes this experience so difficult. My dad was in the Navy during the war, and my mum suffered a severe head trauma during the Blitz in London, which shortened her life and also the quality of that life was restricted. Incredibly, they were both very positive people, on the whole. When they spoke of the war, it was usually with funny stories, such as my mum finding her home bombed but with a mine hanging through the ceiling. She had just bought a new hat which was positioned in a box beneath and she was furious that the ARP man would not let her enter! It was probably several weeks of her money saved to buy it. So when I was a teenager I used to say that if I had been alive during the Blitz, I would have committed suicide. I could not have borne the uncertainty of the struggle. Both of my parents reassured me that I would not have done that. They said what kept them going was the camaraderie and the knowledge that everyone was in the same boat. They all had lost someone, either a civilian or a member of the forces. They had very little wealth, someone might borrow a cup of sugar today, but next week it would be you doing the borrowing. Being in London during the Blitz, close to the Docks, took the brunt of severe bombardment, but they survived because of their friends and neighbours. I weep when I think of how much they and others endured, to give us our freedoms, which are being given away so readily. And here we are, with what we thought of as friends and neighbours, suddenly on a different side to us, and most of the time, they don't even know it. So while our hearts are breaking, they have theirs still intact. All of the trauma is ours, and will be again in the future. Yet I do believe we made a choice to be here at this time, just as they did. And by groups such as these, we can find the camaraderie that my parents experienced, and remember we are scattered around the globe. We just have to seek in the right places.
What a superb comment. Thank you for such deep and personal sharing. Lots to think about here. Yes I’d imagine the community spirit held everything together during the war. This war is a different animal altogether. We know it’s Psychological warfare, and that means that we do have the capacity to walk away, to switch it off. I hand it to God, take lots of walks and I’ve taken up crochet. I’m sure you’ll find your own way through it too. And I’m glad my words brought you some comfort ❤️🙏🏻
Thank you for your words. I have been feeling and am feeling very similarly. Good to know one is not alone knowing nothing and questioning ones sanity.
You’re most certainly not alone. They want you to think that you are. That’s so disempowering. You’ve found your family. Have a read of this piece from a new friend I found on here: https://margaretannaalice.substack.com/p/letter-to-a-tyrant
Maybe that will help too xx
Thank you. Much appreciated
Thank you. Resonates deeply 🙏🏽.
beautiful, thank you!
I think actually there IS a part of everybody we see in our daily lives (again now) who are grieving, some are more pro at hiding it, but there is a forcedness and stiffness to the ways of most. Is it possible I could be sensing that their blood is filling with something unwelcome, self assembling nanosensors and what the hell else? Interior assaults for many, a hollowing out. Fool me once. Best