I have faith in my body to stay healthy and strong. I’ve had to invest a lot of time to upgrade my self-care, try out and find the right supplements I need to get my body stronger and healthier than it was, and there’s still a way to go. But my body has not let me down, even though I have been in chronic pain from more stress than usual. I must not let my body down, and by continuing to invest in it, the relationship I have with my body has improved.
Faith is a relationship, and just like the relationship I have with my body, it takes work. You don’t wake up one day with bucket-loads of faith that holds you strong and confident in yourself, just because you want it. Some days faith wains and dwindles, you get small and go into fear, but on other days it rises and can take your breath away. Having faith in something that’s bigger than you is a dance of trust, but when the feeling stabilises, you have an inner source of power. You can let go of fear, anger, grief and pain and hand it over in faith that there is a bigger plan, that some beneficent power has it all in hand. That it isn’t all about you.
I have faith in God. I’ve stopped calling God “The Universe” or “Great Spirit” or “The Creator” a long time ago. But if you want to keep calling it that, that’s fine with me. Never in my life have I let God in as deeply as I have this year. God surrounds me, is within me, is in my heart, my body, my blood. I feel God in me and I hand over my pain to God and in return I have a source of inner strength that wavers from time to time still, yes, but it’s there, beneath everything. The mountain is me and my faith in God, the rest of it is just weather, and it passes by eventually.
I have faith in humanity to be honourable and do the right thing. This is where my faith has really been put to the test. I still have faith in humanity, I just look to other sources now. Celebrity and politics were designed to lure us into the trap of handing over responsibility to a system that does not care about people. I love how obvious this is becoming. Just because someone is an actor in a movie that you liked does not make them a good person. Just because someone is a politician does not mean they make decisions for the good of the people. We mistake the actors for the characters they play. It’s easy to do, but it’s time to grow up now.
You see - that’s what I’ve really discovered this year, the difference between people who have taken responsibility, who have grown up, who have honour and who know what is true and good, and those that have not. The people that hand their power over to systems to look after them, and those that are in their own power and look after themselves, and each other.
What is the main difference between these people? It comes down to this - faith in something. In God, or in what is true and good. I believe it’s the same thing, as in essence, God is what is true and good.
I know about disempowerment and empowerment because that was my personal journey. It’s been my journey as a therapist too; my mission statement has always been “heal others by teaching them how to heal themselves”. I always felt this strongly, I didn’t want my clients dependant on me. And I don’t want to be dependant on anyone for anything either. I’m not waiting for a hero to come and save me. I must save myself. And if I’ve got anything left after that, I’ll certainly help you save yourself, too.
Perhaps that’s why there have been so many super-hero movies made in the last 10 years. Hollywood indoctrinates us to believe that someone will fly down from the sky and rescue us. They paint a picture of someone honourable who cares for truth and justice, fighting the bad guys. But in reality, nobody is coming. We have to stand up for truth and justice for ourselves.
I see it happening, people that we would have once called ‘ordinary’ are standing up and speaking out. The true heroes are not the ones the mainstream has been telling us are the heroes. The true heroes are the doctors and nurses that do the right thing for their patients, even when the system vilifies and threatens them for doing so. Even when they lose their jobs and reputations over it. The true heroes are the parents and teachers that put themselves in harm’s way to protect the children. College professors and scientists who quit because they are being compromised. Entrepreneurs who risk losing everything because they will not discriminate. ‘Ordinary’ people are becoming extraordinary, and those we were told were extraordinary, are incredible disappointments.
2021 is coming to a close. It was one of the most challenging years of my life. I’ve never experienced anger to the degree that I felt it this year. Never have I grieved this much, been in terror for my life and my children’s lives, or felt as powerless. But I am much stronger for it. I am grateful for my faith, my faith in God, my faith in what is good and true. And I hold the vision that more people will wake up from the deep slumber and reclaim their power, stand for what is good and true in their own lives, so that together we will say with one resounding voice “No more.”
Abby, a wonderful piece, you inspired me to move forward to speak my truth from a heart space. Thank you
Hi Abby ~ thanks for your essay. I enjoyed reading about your faith and experiences in 2021. I too have had and continue to regroup and discern what no longer serves me and what continues to. Taking another step in following you whenever you go and are because your way enlightens my path and often brings me clarity and healing. You are very much appreciated!