Slow the F*ck Down!
Or would you like some Tik Toks with your tea?
We have had our focus stolen. Facebook is now suggesting pages and reels, our YouTube feed is inundated with shorts and Instagram, which used to be a repository of beauty, is now also filled with reels. Not to mention the deadliest focus stealer of them all, Tik Tok. The short, sharp hook in each video grabs your attention for just a few seconds, before switching to another and yet another. Before you know it you’re stuck in front of a screen for 20 minutes or more watching videos that you really, honestly, hand on heart do not need to be wasting your time on.
You don’t.
But the time was wasted, and you won’t get it back. Time is the most valuable thing that all of us have, more valuable than money. The world is designed to steal your time and your peace from you. Watching short videos does not bring you any peace, and it does not leave you feeling rested. After a session on the phone you may try to convince yourself that you have indeed had a rest, but all you really had was a break distracting you from whatever it was you were doing before you picked up your phone. The longer you watch these videos the more your brain has to work, and the harder it is to put the phone down and get some proper, nourishing rest.
The thing is, we’re always in such a rush to move from one distraction to the next. We rush home so we can have more time with our feet up watching crap TV, more time for shorts and reels and Tik Toks that we don’t need, more time for coffee or tea, for wine or snacks. We don’t need these distractions, they take us away from the most important work of all - the work of acceptance, of forgiveness, of being at peace with ourselves.
It’s a beautiful trick, really. It is so easy to distract ourselves or allow ourselves to be distracted that we need the power of our will, and discipline to prevent it from happening. (There’s a word you don’t hear very often - discipline.) Needless to say, many of us don’t want to sit in silence without any distractions, even for just a few minutes, so the power of will just isn’t there at all. Discipline isn’t in the dictionary. Why? Because having no distractions means sitting with ourselves. With everything we are feeling. With all of the choices we have made. With the world that we live in. And that can be very difficult and uncomfortable.
I get it.
We can, however, give ourselves the benefit of the doubt, take a risk, and meet ourselves where we are. To do this we must recognise that life is messy, and accept that we are not perfect. Once you allow for this you can get some actual rest. Sounds good, doesn’t it? But this in itself can be a process. You can start by slowing down.
One of the things I loved the most about the interview I did with Lyn (below) was how slow it was. We slowed right down. Like, r i g h t d o w n. And we need to do that more. I hope you enjoy the video, it’s filled with wisdoms, please make some time to listen.
Love the messiness and master your life, this is the title of the video. We talk about so much more than that, however. Living a messy life doesn’t sound attractive, but we are human, and humans are messy.
Dear Human:
You've got it all wrong.
You didn't come here to master unconditional love. This is where you came from and where you'll return.
You came here to learn personal love.
Universal love.
Messy love.
Sweaty Love.
Crazy love.
Broken love.
Whole love.
Infused with divinity.
Lived through the grace of stumbling.
Demonstrated through the beauty of... messing up.
Often.
You didn't come here to be perfect, you already are.
You came here to be gorgeously human. Flawed and fabulous.
And rising again into remembering.
But unconditional love? Stop telling that story.
Love in truth doesn't need any adjectives.
It doesn't require modifiers.
It doesn't require the condition of perfection.
It only asks you to show up.
And do your best.
That you stay present and feel fully.
That you shine and fly and laugh and cry and hurt and heal and fall and get back up and play and work and live and die as YOU.
It’s enough.
It's Plenty.
by Courtney A. Walsh
Fear of the messiness of life is why we are hell bent on staying distracted. But when we make the time to listen, to be with our human messiness, we find so much beauty and joy. We find things that we forgot about, things that we loved. A bit like doing a declutter of the wardrobe - there’s that sweater I used to wear every day for months, and then somehow it got pushed to the back of the wardrobe, I totally forgot how much I loved it… Does it still fit? Maybe, maybe not.
Perhaps we have grown out of these parts of us, perhaps they are parts of us that we hid away as they didn’t belong in the groups we were in, or around the people we were around at those times. But we are here to be our authentic selves, now more than ever, and so it’s time to take back the pieces of ourselves that we love, and be unapologetic for who we are.
As Honey says in the video above, when we do something that doesn’t resonate with us, more than ever before we feel icky about it. (You can watch the full video here.) And, as I say in the same video, rather than be sorry, we need to be real. I also say that perhaps the misunderstandings you are having with the people around you, are because you’re using the same words, but have applied a different meaning to them, and never stopped to ask them what they mean by them. Slowing down brings more meaning into the moments that we do have. Slowing down creates more substance and improves the quality of our lives.
These are just a few things for you to think about as the days get longer and the spring brightness permeates the air, giving us a boost of energy. We may have more energy but we do need to be more discerning as to where we are spending it. I’m finding that my current energy boost runs out pretty quickly these days.
So - if you can, try to stop arguing with people who can’t hear you, or don’t want to listen to you. Turn off the news once you get the jist of what is going on. Step out of needing to know everything, and come back to that wardrobe of yours - the internal one - maybe you can do a declutter? Perhaps you will find something in there that you forgot about, something that you love.