Don't mind me, I'm just working out my anger issues...
Don't mind me, I'm just working out my anger issues...
In the meantime, here are a couple of videos and articles for your reading/viewing displeasure.
I’ve not been creative this past few weeks. Well that’s not exactly true, I’ve been very creative, just not on the writing front.
My body has been in bits. It usually is; as an energy worker our physical bodies bear the brunt of the energies in play, and the energies, when they’re at their most active, will exploit any weakness in the lightworker’s body. And as far as weaknesses go, my body has many. My hip went out, and my foot felt akin to being broken. I lost my appetite, so I got some help with that, fixed the toe and then the pain moved directly to my rib and shoulder, along with a case of sciatica and eye strain. Great!
When this happens, and it happens pretty regularly, I do my usual scaling back and making space to heal because it’s all part of the process of healing. Healing usually gets worse before it gets better.
As part of my process I went deep inside my heart and sit and listened to what it has to say. It told me I had shut down. That anger was eating away at me, and that the world hasn’t really changed, it’s just that I could see it better (hence the eye-strain). So I took several days and forgave everyone, promised myself that I’d let go of the anger, and rested.
I know I will never forget what happened, and I don’t ascribe to forgive and forget, so that was okay too. I did some healing. Then, feeling happy and bouncy after my first 5K walk in a long time I went for a coffee and a woman I didn’t know, smiled at me in the queue. A well-dressed, well-to-do woman. My first thought was, “You wouldn’t have been so nice to me 6 months ago if you knew I was unvaccinated.” I knew I wasn’t out of the woods yet. I pushed aside my desire to act out, smiled politely, and got the heck outta there (with my coffee) and haven’t been back since.
A few days later, (only a few days ago from when I write this), while going into my garden to tie back one of my Dahlia’s, I fell over the back step and crashed heavily onto the concrete. I managed to throw the whole of my bodyweight straight onto my arm, and I scraped my knee badly too. To all intents and purposes it wasn’t a bad fall at all, but I was deeply shocked. I sat there with the proverbial stars around my head, until my husband came out and helped me up and into a garden chair. I stayed put in that chair for the rest of the afternoon.
The impact of the fall was more traumatic to my body than the actual event warranted. This illustrated to me that the nature of the fall was energetic - someone pushed me in another dimension? I fell into a portal on another planet? I took a hit for one of my children? Or one of my loved ones? - I will never know, but I trust that my higher self opted for the lesser evil if it did have any say in the matter. I also know it was part of my earthly healing process - loosing balance, altered spacial recognition, reorganising of my energies and working on letting go of anger is a much more complicated, and delicate process than we think. I suppose we span more dimensional realities than our mind is aware of, shifting something as strong as the anger that I realise I am still holding does have a strong impact across the space-time continuum. I’d like to think so, anyway. I guess working to release it is better than holding it deeply in my body and getting cancer from it in a few years time.
Three days later and my arm is still sprained, it’s difficult to drive my car, brush my hair or type on the computer. So I’ll take some more time to allow my bodies (spiritual, physical, emotional and mental) heal, and instead of continuing to write here, and please, I am sharing here purely for the purposes of continued transparency in my process, so I don’t want sympathy. I’d prefer you to look deep within yourself and question if you too are still holding onto anger. Perhaps you could give it some time to ripple through and out of you, whatever the consequences, whatever that looks like. It’s not the easy path.
In the meantime, here are a couple of videos, and a couple of articles that probably explain why I’m having so much trouble not being angry right now.
ICONOCLAST One to One: Dr Gerry Waters
The Highwire Episode 278: RADICAL TRUTHS
The kids aren’t alright BY HADLEY FREEMAN
I’m thinking I will have to learn how to live with my anger.
As I said on a comment under Gerry’s Substack - One day we will look back proudly at these times over a few pints and know that we stayed true to ourselves and true to our values. And when we stand in front of God he’ll know it too and raise a glass with us and say, “Well done lads, it was the hardest test of all and you passed with flying colours” It would be nice to believe that, anyway.
Thanks for writing this. I am right there with you. And it’s physicality is also apparent, the timing of trips and sprains with shocking thoughts that almost seem to be outside ourselves. The anger thoughts, exactly as you described them in line in the coffe store. I am a herbalist and now I have to push away the oh it’s because of the vaccine thoughts that come when my beloved clients discribe their ills.
As a herbalist and healer I am well aware that these thoughts can become their own demons if we are not vigilant. I am aware that they come with an important demand, It is our call to action, a call topush back, a call to resist what we clearly know is wrong and evil.
Your action in this newsletter has given me grounding and comraderee so blessings and thank you. I hope your anger work finds you empowered. I bless the call to action so that we can be brought to awareness of the dissonance and rift, and the relief that comes with release. I wish you deep support and strength in the momentum and clearing that anger is so powerful for. And I ask us all to carry this anger forward together so that we may each of us bear the burden and lessen the pain of holding.
Hey Abby! I am here relating to your post. The astrological weather has been intense and everyone is feeling the effects and the ripples of the paradigm shift. What we are going through collectively is HUGE! It is no surprise to me that you and I (and I’m sure so many others) are stumbling over ourselves! I’ve been accidentally dropping or flinging things! My hips and ankle (old injuries) are acting up - and it’s not the dampness in the atmosphere. It’s as you say - energetic. I think our awareness is expanding - quantum science is becoming mainstream - this is a huge shift in culture and worldview - so many have been taken by surprise, with no foundation to deal with it in a healthy way! This is the unfortunate side of ascention. Not that humanity hasn’t been warned about the disruption in great detail… but it is exactly as it was called - the wise will hear and heed and the foolish will not. As it has always been - there is so much we can no longer take for granted.
While I don’t always agree with your chosen focus, I’m grateful for what I don’t hear you saying: that you long for the “old days” - the simpler times… They were simpler times in some aspects - but the consequences! This new age is demanding that we stay present and grow into the manifestors of love and light we were created to be. Some aspects will create new ease - and hopefully less destructive consequences. As dire and uncomfortable these times may be, we cannot afford to believe that should be taking ourselves so seriously. Is our work important - most important. But we cannot do “the work” without the space and freedom to play. Play! Find pleasure, have fun, cultivate joy - we cannot manifest the change we wish to see without it! We cannot find the courage to make the difficult choices of today without savoring the vision of joy, restoration and freedom. I believe God knows this and provides for it as we spiral. I am glad to be with you on the journey. Big heart hugs! Sending healing love.